Have you ever been in a relationship that is perfectly fine, but you're not content? There are no butterflies, no passion... You guys have sex, never make love. But you know he loves you so much and you get mad that you don't love him as much as you should, because everything is there, but at the same time something is missing... that spark... have you ever experienced this? and if you haven't, what do I do?
So I’ve been saving this question because its clearly asked in earnest and I don’t like answering serious questions without time to think about it to offer up my best wisdom on the matter.
First of all, yes. I think it’s actually quite common in the society we live in for people to settle and end up in relationships that are a bit one-sided and I am certainly a person who’s been in your exact position. It was very hard to learn that the love I felt for the person at the time was really not the kind of love I wanted for my life. It was really more the way I would love a good friend, or someone in my family. And yes, eventually it got to a point where the facades all fell away and there wasn’t really much left at that point for me. So I completely know how disorienting, confusing and painful it can be and my heart goes out to you. I hope you know you aren’t alone, many people have experienced what you’re going through and you’re going to be okay.
As far as what to do, I don’t know enough about you, dear anonymous, or the person you are with, to give any ultimatum-esque advice to you. I can’t say whether you should leave or stay, only that you should weigh what your heart is telling you. If you think it’s as simple as sitting down with your significant other and being open and honest with them about how you’re feeling. You absolutely deserve to be treated as rare and exquisite, because you are. Your heart has every right to long to be loved and treasured and adored and wanting those things is not a weakness. Closeness and intimacy can often be confused with sex (and sex *can* be intimate and make you feel close,) but lasting closeness comes from two people being open and honoring with each other, and what each person needs to feel whole and fulfilled.
I hope this has helped a little, and if you have any other questions let me know and I will do my best to help with what little experience I’ve had!
What's your favorite book?
1. One Hundred Years of Solitude (I read this once a year. Hoping to make it a hundred times!)
2. Franny and Zooey (this book helped me become a humanist.)
3. Anything by Isabel Allende; her writing is evocative, lush, colorful, powerful and sexy.
4. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
5. To Kill a Mockingbird.
6. The Picture of Dorian Gray.
7. The Bell Jar.
8. Harry Potter, the complete series.
9. Girl, Interrupted.
10. White Oleander.
What was that more than one
How hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning?
Not so bad, actually! I had a hard time at the beginning if my playing shows but now I can hardly stay asleep. Partly to do with my room (the sun shines through my windows at eight every day) and partly because my life is really exciting this year and I can’t wait to get up. Like…I should probably get *more* sleep but I can’t because EXCITES